That's my power-yell. When I'm feeling defiant or strong or just plain ornery. I haven't written in a while partially because there was nothing really to write about and partially because there was just too much in my head to get down on paper. Haha! I really just typed that. I used to keep a paper journal. Somewhere there is a box or boxes full of little fabric covered journals, detailing my teenage and college years in excruciatingly mundane ways.
At any rate. Here's something that's been in my brain of late: Triathlons. I did my first Tri almost exactly two years ago, and it was a great great thing. Then all hell sorta broke loose in that we bought a house, moved, sold a house, and moved again within a year's time. Things were a bit bonkers, and I lost sight of goals like fitness and competition. But a few months ago I was reading my Shape Magazine and saw a little blurb about Slow Fat Triathlete. It sounded like a fun read, and a useful one for a casual wanna-be competitor like myself. I finally got around to ordering it (after several unsuccessful attempts at finding it locally) online and have been singing its praises ever since. I'm pretty sure Russell is sick of hearing about it, so I'll dump the kudos on you lot for a change.
The book is not a high-tech, all fired precision approach to Triathlons. It's an affirmation to anyone with secret dreams of competing who might feel held back by nagging thoughts of ineptitude--on any level, whether fitness, mental strength, or physique. When the author started competing in running races, she weighed over 200lbs. She discovered triathlons shortly thereafter and decided to give it a go, despite having a body that most people would be loathe to show in shorts and a tank top, much less a neoprene wet suit.
She stresses, time and time again, that *anyone* can compete--it's not just for elite athletes. Don't compare yourself to others, and don't give a damn what anyone else thinks--just get out there and do what you can and what you enjoy. Don't wait until you've reached a perfect level of fitness or until you feel you look hot in your spandex bike shorts... just get out there and do it!
That's the short version. It's a great read so far, and it has really inspired me to get moving again. The fact that the temperature has started dropping a bit recently hasn't hurt, either. :) It was only 101 today!!
Anyway. That's my spiel. Check out the book--even if you aren't interested in triathlons, it's a hilarious read, and inspirational for all aspects of life!
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Through The Ringer
So yesterday I got a call from the hospital where I had my mammogram last week. They wanted to get some more views of my right breast, and when could I come in. No explanation, really, and very casual. They happened to have an appointment available this morning at 8:30am, which I immediately jumped at. If there was something going on, I wanted to know sooner rather than later.
So on a day that I didn't have to work until 2pm, I dragged my groggy ass out of bed at 6:30am. I drove down to the John C. Lincoln Breast Care Hospital and had my right boob lifted, adjusted, prodded, and smooshed three more times. The first time I'd gone in it really wasn't so bad--sadly comical more than anything--you never want to see your boob smashed flat to popping status under a bit of plexiglas. This time, they were really going for a good view, and DAMN. If you've never had a mammogram, they basically try to flatten out your boob to take an xray of it. You feel a bit like a puppet as they move not only your breast, but your entire body--hips, shoulders, arms--to get the best "sitting" of the breast on the xray plate. Then there is another flat bit of plastic--clear with black D shapes on it, apparently to indicate where the breast is supposed to fit in--that moves in to crush you against the xray plate.
Anyway. After the second set of screens were taken the nice lady that took the shots (the mammogramologist? seems too unwieldy a title) informed me that the radiologist still wanted a better look and was requesting an ultrasound. However, there was not a room available (and it was iffy at that) until around 11am. She assured me that it wasn't really anything to worry about, and sent me home with a card and a number to call in an hour's time.
So, feeling a bit brutalised and a lot concerned--despite Sharon's assurances--I headed home for a bit. When I called back, I was told that they could work my ultrasound in at 11:30am, so back I went. Not knowing how long it would last, but knowing full well about doctor's schedules, I'd already called work and told them I might be late--or absent, depending on the outcome of my visits. Good thing too, because they were finally able to work me in a little after 1pm.
The ultrasound itself was pretty cool. She turned the monitor so I could see what was coming up, and explained how the process worked, and what she was looking for. All I saw was a lot of white stripes and grey and black blobs. But she seemed to be making sense of it somehow. She took a couple of snapshots and headed off to the radiologist once again to see what he could see. I cleaned up the goo they use for the ultrasound (it's sticky and slimy all at the same time.ugh.), and sat down to wait.
Sharon came in a bit later and told me, basically, that everything is fine. I have some calcification going on that they were concerned about, but after all that mauling and whatnot they have concluded that the calcifications are benign. Normal wear and tear, I'm told. Shouldn't have to worry about another mammogram until I hit 40 (but I can pretty much tell you right now that I'm going to request another one 3 years from now, if not sooner).
I made it to work around 3:30pm, and still have not removed my wrist band from the hospital. I guess it's sort of my Badge of Courage for the day. I feel pretty exhausted, mentally and physically. I'm sore. I'm happy. There were a couple hours during the day today that I was going through all the "what-ifs". Wondering what would happen, how I would tell people--especially my family, how it would affect my life... I have always wished I'd been less blessed in the curve department, and I was pretty terrified for a bit today that I'd get my wish of a reduction. Scary stuff.
But it's all good. I'm keeping the girls for now. I'll bitch and complain that I can't find shirts that fit properly. I'll hold 'em when I go downstairs, and I'll continue to put on two sports bras when I go for a run or a bike ride. And you know what?? I'll LIKE IT!
So on a day that I didn't have to work until 2pm, I dragged my groggy ass out of bed at 6:30am. I drove down to the John C. Lincoln Breast Care Hospital and had my right boob lifted, adjusted, prodded, and smooshed three more times. The first time I'd gone in it really wasn't so bad--sadly comical more than anything--you never want to see your boob smashed flat to popping status under a bit of plexiglas. This time, they were really going for a good view, and DAMN. If you've never had a mammogram, they basically try to flatten out your boob to take an xray of it. You feel a bit like a puppet as they move not only your breast, but your entire body--hips, shoulders, arms--to get the best "sitting" of the breast on the xray plate. Then there is another flat bit of plastic--clear with black D shapes on it, apparently to indicate where the breast is supposed to fit in--that moves in to crush you against the xray plate.
Anyway. After the second set of screens were taken the nice lady that took the shots (the mammogramologist? seems too unwieldy a title) informed me that the radiologist still wanted a better look and was requesting an ultrasound. However, there was not a room available (and it was iffy at that) until around 11am. She assured me that it wasn't really anything to worry about, and sent me home with a card and a number to call in an hour's time.
So, feeling a bit brutalised and a lot concerned--despite Sharon's assurances--I headed home for a bit. When I called back, I was told that they could work my ultrasound in at 11:30am, so back I went. Not knowing how long it would last, but knowing full well about doctor's schedules, I'd already called work and told them I might be late--or absent, depending on the outcome of my visits. Good thing too, because they were finally able to work me in a little after 1pm.
The ultrasound itself was pretty cool. She turned the monitor so I could see what was coming up, and explained how the process worked, and what she was looking for. All I saw was a lot of white stripes and grey and black blobs. But she seemed to be making sense of it somehow. She took a couple of snapshots and headed off to the radiologist once again to see what he could see. I cleaned up the goo they use for the ultrasound (it's sticky and slimy all at the same time.ugh.), and sat down to wait.
Sharon came in a bit later and told me, basically, that everything is fine. I have some calcification going on that they were concerned about, but after all that mauling and whatnot they have concluded that the calcifications are benign. Normal wear and tear, I'm told. Shouldn't have to worry about another mammogram until I hit 40 (but I can pretty much tell you right now that I'm going to request another one 3 years from now, if not sooner).
I made it to work around 3:30pm, and still have not removed my wrist band from the hospital. I guess it's sort of my Badge of Courage for the day. I feel pretty exhausted, mentally and physically. I'm sore. I'm happy. There were a couple hours during the day today that I was going through all the "what-ifs". Wondering what would happen, how I would tell people--especially my family, how it would affect my life... I have always wished I'd been less blessed in the curve department, and I was pretty terrified for a bit today that I'd get my wish of a reduction. Scary stuff.
But it's all good. I'm keeping the girls for now. I'll bitch and complain that I can't find shirts that fit properly. I'll hold 'em when I go downstairs, and I'll continue to put on two sports bras when I go for a run or a bike ride. And you know what?? I'll LIKE IT!
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
whelmed
Not currently *over*whelmed. Just whelmed.
I was reading some of my other favourite blogs, and feeling a bit bitchy about the fact that a couple of them haven't updated in a while when I remembered that I haven't jotted anything of note here in over a week. I haven't heard any complaints, so I guess no one is missing me, but still. Far be it from me to bitch about something I'm so guilty of. So, in order that I may bitch free from guilt, here's my update.
1) got the lawnmower back from Small Engine World last week. Apparently the carborator(sp) was jacked from all the rainwater, so they replaced that and gave it a general tune up and it's as good as new to the tune of about $40. Well worth it, I'd say. It took several passes at the 18" grass to get it managable again, but the dogs will no longer have to fret at having grass tickle their butts when they try to poop.
2) after spending rather a long time in the yard yesterday doing said mowing, I ended up with a gargantuan migraine that I thought was going to render me permenently blind. It snuck up on me, and by the time I thought to take anything, it was already full swing, causing dizziness, nausea, and aforementioned blindness. Russell put me to bed around 7pm and I thrashed around for about 2 hours before finally falling asleep. I slept until about 8:30 this morning. Go figure. Less sun, more water for me.
3) I finally got the two new tubes and tires put on my bike, along with new handlebar grips--as my old ones were disintegrating at an alarming pace. I took it for a ride the other night, and so far all systems are go. Woohoo. It's even been Tolerably Warm out the last few days, instead of the usual Stiflingly Hot. When I say "warm" let me just clarify that it's only 93 degrees outside instead of 105. Russell even put the top down on the convertable yesterday on his way home. Fall is on it's way, folks!
4) I'm beside myself with joy becuase I'm going back to KC for a week in September. My best friend had a baby, as you know if you've been paying attention, and I'm going to go meet her! I'm also going to get a chance to hit up the Kansas City Renaissance Festival, do some shopping in Lawrence, KS (sigh, how I miss that place), and visit my folks in Missouri for a couple of days. I haven't taken a vacation....ever. And although this isn't very luxurious or exotic, I really can't think of anyplace I'd rather go right now.
So there you have a brief history of the past week or so. I can go bitch to my fellow bloggers now....
I was reading some of my other favourite blogs, and feeling a bit bitchy about the fact that a couple of them haven't updated in a while when I remembered that I haven't jotted anything of note here in over a week. I haven't heard any complaints, so I guess no one is missing me, but still. Far be it from me to bitch about something I'm so guilty of. So, in order that I may bitch free from guilt, here's my update.
1) got the lawnmower back from Small Engine World last week. Apparently the carborator(sp) was jacked from all the rainwater, so they replaced that and gave it a general tune up and it's as good as new to the tune of about $40. Well worth it, I'd say. It took several passes at the 18" grass to get it managable again, but the dogs will no longer have to fret at having grass tickle their butts when they try to poop.
2) after spending rather a long time in the yard yesterday doing said mowing, I ended up with a gargantuan migraine that I thought was going to render me permenently blind. It snuck up on me, and by the time I thought to take anything, it was already full swing, causing dizziness, nausea, and aforementioned blindness. Russell put me to bed around 7pm and I thrashed around for about 2 hours before finally falling asleep. I slept until about 8:30 this morning. Go figure. Less sun, more water for me.
3) I finally got the two new tubes and tires put on my bike, along with new handlebar grips--as my old ones were disintegrating at an alarming pace. I took it for a ride the other night, and so far all systems are go. Woohoo. It's even been Tolerably Warm out the last few days, instead of the usual Stiflingly Hot. When I say "warm" let me just clarify that it's only 93 degrees outside instead of 105. Russell even put the top down on the convertable yesterday on his way home. Fall is on it's way, folks!
4) I'm beside myself with joy becuase I'm going back to KC for a week in September. My best friend had a baby, as you know if you've been paying attention, and I'm going to go meet her! I'm also going to get a chance to hit up the Kansas City Renaissance Festival, do some shopping in Lawrence, KS (sigh, how I miss that place), and visit my folks in Missouri for a couple of days. I haven't taken a vacation....ever. And although this isn't very luxurious or exotic, I really can't think of anyplace I'd rather go right now.
So there you have a brief history of the past week or so. I can go bitch to my fellow bloggers now....
Thursday, August 04, 2005
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